Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and for those still looking for a last-minute Valentine’s Day present for their loved and/or hated ones, the Bronx Zoo has the answer: Starting at the low, low price of $15, you can name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after your lovers and/or enemies.
Time Out New York reported that Bronx’s world-renowned zoo — the largest in the country — recently launched an online store, offering a variety of cockroach naming bundles and even some cockroach-inspired merch items, such as enamel pins and, of course, socks. So not only can you finally let the cool cats and/or jerks in your life know how you really feel about them, but you can help to spiff up their wardrobe accessories in the process.
Additionally, proceeds from this amazing/ridiculous promotion will benefit the Wildlife Conservation Society. You simply cannot lose/win!
Check out all the clickable options from the Bronx Zoo’s website below, pick a winner/loser, and then watch the appreciation/horror unfold.
This has us contemplating a new business where you can name a Chicago alley rat for $10. If you want to get in on the ground floor of this exciting/terrifying new venture, send us a fax and we’ll get back to you (we won’t get back to you).
Speaking of business, if you’re too broke/frugal to bestow a loved/hated one with the honor of being named after a cockroach, there’s always this year’s batch of complimentary Riot Fest Valentine’s Day Cards, you cheap bastard/smart cookie.