Top ten ways to tell that summer has officially arrived
10) Whenever you see a runner running outside, you secretly hope they faint so that they learn a lesson. If you’re not working out, neither should anyone else.
9) Nothing beats the heat like sitting in your birthday suit on your couch hoping your neighborhood doesn’t look through the window. Hey, it’s not your fault the AC is broken.
8) Your Facebook has been flooded of pictures of your friend’s feet by the pool. Your friend’s feet by the ocean. Your friend’s feet by the lake. We get it. You have feet. Can we get back to work now?
7) You’re sitting outside in the sun and then it begins: worrying about having to stand up. Did I sweat through my shorts? It looks and feels like I peed myself. It’s official, I’m never leaving this chair.
6) It happens to the best of us, BBQ season. You drink, you drink, you drink more, and nothing hits you because you sweat it out immediately. But yet, you still wake up hungover and find pictures of yourself flashing people on your camera. Summer strikes again.
5) Outdoor dining when you spot a brown eyed pooch underneath the table next to you. Are his eyes secretly asking you to shave his fur or is he eyeing your bacon cheeseburger? Instead, dirty looks to the owner will have to suffice—you put on a fur coat and sit in 100 degree weather.
4) Ah, strolling through the neighborhood with your friends and/or significant other. Birds chirping, blue skies… and what is this pressure I feel in my hands… swollen sausage fingers. We meet again.
3) You try to be proactive about your health, and what do you get in return? Thighs chaffing from walking those two blocks. Men, buy stock in Gold Bond. Women, buy stock in baby powder.
2) Say cheese! Love framing those summer group shots. Everyone looks to tan and sun kissed. Until you realize that it looks as if though someone wiped your face with oily, greasy, Crisco.
1) It’s festival season and concert season. Nothing says “summer” like raging to a band, surrounded by sweaty, deodorant-less people. That just might be the cherry to our summer sundae.