I, For One, Welcome Our New Aggressive Wild Turkey Overlords
The town of Bridgewater, Massachusetts has a wild turkey problem. And not the good kind of Wild Turkey. Police in the town are warning residents that, “Aggressive turkeys are a problem in town,” and “State law doesn’t allow the police or the ACO to remove them.”
In Rhode Island, wild turkeys have started breaking and entering businesses.
We aren’t sure exactly what has caused the recent uprising of wild turkeys or what their motivations are, but one thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the aggressive wild turkeys will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new aggressive wild turkey overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted music festival, we can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground bird feed caves.
In fact, the state of Massachusetts has a fantastic website dedicated to “Prevent Conflicts With Turkeys“. It explains that, “Wild turkeys thrive close to people in suburban and urban areas. Follow these best practices to make your property less attractive to turkeys.”
The website also says you shouldn’t feed wild turkey, you should keep you bird feeder areas clean and cover all shiny objects, and make sure you “don’t let turkeys intimidate you“.
Seriously, DO NOT LET TURKEYS INTIMIDATE YOU. Wild turkeys that become accustomed to humans and human-associated foods, like bird seed, are likely to lose their fear of people and can cause damage or attempt to dominate people. Once bold behavior is established, it can be very difficult to change. Don’t hesitate to scare or threaten a bold, aggressive turkey with loud noises, swatting with a broom or water sprayed from a hose. A dog on a leash is also an effective deterrent.
Anyone having turkey trouble should call the MSPCA at 617-522-7400, police said.