The Halloween Junk Food We’re Going to Miss, IllustratedOur favorite spooky snacks that won’t return for a year
Halloween is long gone, but it’s still in our hearts—and more importantly, our stomachs. With each Hallow’s Eve comes a plethora of spooky junk food on grocery shelves, each with some sort of hook: a cereal that turns your milk green, a single Skittle that tastes like rubber, you name it. Now that Halloween has passed, these tasty treats won’t be seen for another year. We’ve memorialized each of our favorite snacks below.
What can I say; I am an absolute sucker for ghoul and monster-shaped candies. These limited edition chocolate and caramel cookie ghouls make the Twix-eating experience so much better. I always overlook Twix candy bars every time I’m searching for that perfect chunk of chocolate to satisfy my sweet tooth. It’s not that I’m anti-caramel or anti-cookies in my chocolate, but it is mainly due to the fact that I do not consider Twix a candy “BAR”. I simply can’t get on board with the idea of having two hard and chewy sticks of chocolate shacking up, cozy, in a single candy wrapper. Twix are long, narrow, and there’s nothing satisfying about eating a long log of chocolate, twice. (I already feel ashamed about eating just ONE…)These ghost shaped Twix were the revision I never knew that Twix needed. It’s much more enjoyable, more playful, to unwrap two chunky round nuggets of chocolate that also look like spooky little apparitions.
MOUNTAIN DEW VOODEW
Ah, the mystery flavor. Isn’t it funny that mystery flavored snacks have now become their own distinct flavor? It’s no mystery anymore. (What a shame…) VooDew isn’t exactly marketed as a mystery flavor, but come on, we all know what that weird milky white color signifies. This creepy radioactive soda is a mild, less battery acid tasting Mountain Dew. The color makes the whole soft drink experience feel somewhat comforting, and not like you’re guzzling down a bunch of crushed up lithium batteries and jolly ranchers that were mixed up in a blender.
CHEETOS BAG OF BONES
Puffy. Cheetos. Puffy Cheetos remind me of those variety packs of chips that soccer moms buy for after a little league game. You know, the ones with small bags of plain chips, pretzels, and my fave: cheese puffs? On the other side of the snack food coin, we have the evil stepmom: classic (crunchy) Cheetos. Classic Cheetos represent all the harsh realities of adult life: working, commuting, paying taxes… all the crunchy tasks of everyday life. These bone-shaped white cheddar Cheetos are the perfect blend of puffy and crunchy. They’re not hollow like cheese puffs, and not crunchy and depressing like regular Cheetos. It’s the perfect snack that’s cute, anatomical, AND cheesy.
Peeps deserve more credit. Are there any other highly recognizable plastic-tasting marshmallows out there on the snack market? These ghostly Peeps allow us to appreciate the wonderful taste of plastic ‘mallows not just around Easter time. ( I find it unsettling to eat boiled eggs while also eating anthropomorphic candy ducklings on the same occasion…) Did I also mention that these Ghost Peeps are so darn cute? Pop these babies in the microwave and you’ll be left with a warm gooey ectoplasmic confection. Or, if you’re a masochist like myself, you’ll let them go stale and crunchy for a couple days before feasting on them like a crazy person( It’s the only acceptable way to enjoy Peeps, duh!)
LITTLE DEBBY BAT BROWNIES
Here it is, the snack of my spookiest dreams. Little Debbie’s oh-so-rare Bat Brownies. I’ve dreamed about serving these little creature confections on the perfect gothic piece of fine china, inside my Adams Family themed dining room. Don’t be fooled, however- these brownies aren’t made from some fancy schmancy coveted chocolate that would warrant such an ornate table display. These brownies are just your standard Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies, but BAT SHAPED. (Need we ask for more?)The individual wrapped aspect of the treat ruins the fantasy, just a little, sadly. The grease spots also sometimes collect on the inside of the clear plastic wrappers like condensation on the window of a minivan. All in all, it’s just a bat-shaped brownie. Could I ask for anything more ? Little Debbie Bat Brownies strive for simplicity, yet with a gothic flair; and that’s totally fine by me.