Well well well, Riot Fest. 20 Years! That’s a big number! You’re almost old enough to drink! And you’re definitely old enough for hair-based statistical analysis. Great news, hair-based statistical analysis is exactly what I’m here for.
Let’s start, as always, with raw numbers.
Friday had a total of forty-nine (49) mohawks. Saturday had fifty-three (53). Sunday, always the lowest, still had a record-breaking forty-three (43) mohawks. In total, that gives us one hundred forty-five (145) mohawks. That’s a good number! I would consider it a very respectable total of mohawks. It’s the second-highest total we’ve ever seen. Very nice! Let’s get into more specific analysis.
Friday started off with a bit of a decrease, only having forty-nine (49) mohawks, as compared to 2024’s Friday count of fifty-six (56). Now don’t freak out! It’s not that bad! And I’ll tell you why. This year, instead of interviewing attendees, I decided to focus more on the numbers, the data, the raw fuckin’ science.
That means including a new data point: averages.
Means! I have six years of data now, which I believe to be a good enough number to find averages with. The average mohawk count for a Friday (not including this year) is forty-three point four (43.4) mohawks. Now, I might be your mohawk expert, but I have no idea what I would consider point four of a mohawk is, so we’re gonna go ahead and round that down to fourty-three (43) mohawks.
Keeping that in mind, this Friday was above average! With some pretty hard punk bands like Knocked Loose and Alkaline Trio in the daily lineup and Blink-182 as a headliner, that is hardly surprising.
In comparison, Saturday gave us fifty-three (53) mohawks, which is also above average! The average Saturday mohawk count is forty-nine (49), which makes sense, as it is usually the day with the highest count, outside of last year’s small deviation. A classic punk headliner like the Sex Pistols will definitely draw big mohawk numbers, as will classic Riot Fest guests like the Dropkick Murphys, and smaller punk bands like Cliffdiver.
Now, does this mean that Sunday also followed the pattern and had a larger-than-average mohawk count? Well yeah, I already said it had a record breaking amount. But for the sake of good reporting, I will let you know that the average Sunday count is thirty-three point four (33.4) (rounded down to thirty-three (33)) mohawks. This year’s Sunday count of forty-three (43) blew that average out of the water! No surprise with some pretty heavy punk bands like Soft Play and Idles preceding Green Day. Still, this is the best showing on a Sunday that we’ve ever seen!
We’ll get into more detail about that in the yearly analysis, but it’s worth pointing out that this year had the closest totals ever, with a range of only ten mohawks. Friday was pretty close to a middle point between Saturday and Sunday. Does this mean that we’re going to eventually see a year where all three days have the same total? Possibly, but we can only wait and see.
With the daily comparison out of the way, let’s look at the yearly comparisons! Woo, more averages!
Well, one average really. The yearly average. This year had a total of one hundred forty-five (145) mohawks. Again, that’s the second highest mohawk count I have record of, after last year’s total of one hundred forty-nine (149). That’s only a decrease of five mohawks! Personanlly, I think that’s pretty damn good.
The average total mohawk count was one hundred twenty-five point eight (125.8) (rounded UP to one hundred twenty-six (126) mohawks (if you think there are too many parentheses in this report, you’re wrong).
We did have two years with pretty low mohawk counts in 2019 and 2023. That has definitely impacted the yearly averages, but I don’t really have enough data to discount outliers and still have good numbers, so we’re going to roll with it.
As mentioned, Friday had a decrease as compared to last year, but only a little one! Still above average! That’s great! Saturday in contrast, increased from last year, though we still have not reached the incredible high of 2022’s sixty-one (61) mohawks. I don’t know what caused such a strong change that year, but I do believe we can hit those numbers again. Sunday, meanwhile, had another record breaking year! Now, it was only by a single mohawk, but still! I am hoping that it is a sign of new growth on Sundays.
I want to make an important point here about these changes. While we might have had a small decrease overall, it is a positive sign. I think it is a sign of stabilization.
We had a pretty sharp decrease in 2023. We all remember that report. Last year, we had a crazy spike! Huge increase! And then this year, it decreased again. However, it was a decrease accompanied by above average days across the board.
This means we could be approaching something I have always believed could be a possibility: The Mohawk Equilibrium.
A theoretical plateau of mohawks, wherein we reach a point of minimal change. I doubt that this year’s total is that equilibrium; rather, I believe that we are still recovering from 2023. Like a ship at sea, I would not be surprised if we hit a couple of low and high points in the coming years. It is also possible that this ties into my earlier statement about the daily counts getting closer. Maybe it’ll all balance to a singularity wherein every day is a perfectly average mohawk total. At that point, will I stop the count? Will we have reached an event horizon of mohawks? Will I become redundant?
Probably not. I need to justify my Sociology minor somehow, and mohawk statistics is the best use I’ve found.
The Related Rabbit Hole
