“Political Billionaire” Wig For Your Pet
Would you like to Make Your Dog Great Again? Of course you do. And with this “Political Billionaire Wig for Pet” you can Make Your Dog Great Again for only $10.95. It’s the best wig. Don’t be surprised if your dog wants to build a fence in the backyard to keep the cats out. Pet…
Descendents To Release 20th Anniversary Edition of ‘Everything Sucks’
The Descendents announced via facebook today that they will be releasing a 20th anniversary edition of their 1996 album Everything Sucks. Yes we know, that would be the 20th Anniversary, but whatever. Everything Sucks is the Descendents fifth studio album. It was their first album of new studio material since 1987’s All, after which singer…
For Sale: Absolutely Dreadful Guitar
Would you like to buy an absolutely dreadful guitar? If your answer is yes, then I have a deal for you. Someone in Witham, Essex, United Kingdom is selling an Absolutely Dreadful Guitar on eBay. Only a few more days left to bid. HURRY! “Hi folks, here for sale is quite the worst guitar I…
Shaq Thinks The Earth Is Flat
Retired NBA star, and career 53% free throw shooter, Shaquille O’Neal is a ‘flat-earther’. What is a ‘flat-earther’? A person who believes that despite all facts and evidence and science that prove the earth is spherical in shape, that the earth is actually flat. Yes, that’s a real thing people believe. In fact, “The mission…
I, For One, Welcome Our New Giant Chicken Overlords
This is a video of a Brahma chicken. It is very large. We haven’t done any research on this breed of chicken, but this video suggests that they can grow up to 150 pounds and up to 4 feet tall. They are carnivores and have been known to eat small children. In olden times some…
Coming To America Sequel?
In a quickly deleted tweet and now deleted twitter account. Eddie Murphy tweeted “Coming to America sequel?” with a photo of Princess Imani Izzi. TMZ reports that Eddie Murphy doesn’t actually tweet himself, but has a social media team for that, or HAD a social media team. The announcement was supposed to be made at…
Happy St. Patrick’s Day
Saint Patrick’s Day, or Feast of Saint Patrick Swayze, is upon us. Celebrated every March 17, the Feast of Saint Patrick Swayze is a cultural and religious celebration of Patrick Swayze, the foremost patron saint of door guys. Each year, we celebrate the day St. Patrick Swayze drove Brad Wesley and his henchmen out of the Double…
Riot Fest Denver 2017
To all of our Fans and Patrons, First and foremost, thank you for your support, loyalty, and enthusiasm regarding Riot Fest’s endeavors – you are the lifeblood that keeps us going! As many of you know, the Riot Fest family lost one of its leaders late last year: our beloved Sean McKeough. Riot Mike’s partner, Sean,…
