We were going to make a reference to simmering beef stew, but we couldn’t. We were going to compare it to slow-cooked BBQ, but that would ruin it. We also thought of a crock-pot, but we still use that. So we just gave up because all of those have officially been tainted.
David Viens, a chef from Los Angeles, decided to bring his culinary skills home and create a horrific recipe. After a heated argument took place, Viens duct taped his wife and threw her in the closet. Once his 4 hour nap was complete, he went to the closet and found her dead. When he finally came to his senses (sarcasm), he proceeded to do the unthinkable. “I just slowly cooked it and I ended up cooking her for four days,” said Viens. He proceeded to stuff his wife’s body in a 55-gallon drum of boiling water and kept the body submerged with weights till nothing was left but the skull. In regards to the waste from the drum, he dumped some in the grease pit at his restaurant and the rest in the trash.
Yeah so, we’ll just have the veggie burger please.