In honor of Jawbreaker Day, we made a schedule of our perfect day. It’s May 4th and we’re sluttering through the day.
A simple rule: every day be sure you wake.
- 5:59 AM – We’re killing each other by sleeping in.
- 6:00 AM – The floor comes alive w/ lice. You’re hungry.
- 6:01 AM – Smoke a Chesterfield, add to Ashtray Monument.
- 6:05 AM – It’s good to be awake!
- 6:10 AM – Wake up + shield your eyes from the sun.
- 7:00 AM – Have sex alone.
- 7:15 AM – It’s 5:00 somewhere…Kiss The Bottle.
- 8:00 AM – Go into the living room…someone’s blasting Zep.
- 8:01 AM – Play air drums, and play them well.
- 9:30 AM – Paint a prettier picture.
- 10:00 AM – It’s time to leave this place!!
- 11:00 AM – Hike dress around this waste of laughter.
- 11:40 AM – Slow dance alone with no one to the sound of four hands clapping.
- 12:15 PM – Go to 7-Eleven parking lot.
- 12:30 PM – Sit + smoke against the wall for 20 min.
- 12:50 PM – Drink beneath the 405, in the ivy, and think about girl.
- 1:00 PM – Sit and stare (It’s all we do!)
- 2:00 PM – Run into guy I know, haven’t seen him in YEARS.
- 3:00 PM – Steal a couple beers from the neon kitchen.
- 5:00 PM – Dinner break (Oysters).
- 6:00 PM – Connect the cable.
- 6:30 PM – Have sex.
- 6:40 PM – Have sex.
- 6:50 PM – Have sex.
- 7:00 PM – Hook up Sega (Alex Kidd?).
- 8:00 PM – Stick fork in socket.
- 9:00 PM – Hold your hand while watching TV.
- 10:15 PM – Trace the little lines along your palm.
- 11:40 PM – The day is done, but I don’t think I got it right.
- 11:55 PM – Go to sleep and dream of being either a fireman or astronaut.
- MIDNIGHT – Then the cops show up!
The Related Rabbit Hole
