Skip to content
Riot Fest
Tickets
Search
  • 2026 PRESALE TICKETS
  • 2026 Festival
    • Tickets
    • Lineup
    • Payment Plans
    • Photos
    • FAQ
    • Hotels
    • Lockers
  • Merch
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Community
    • Beyond the Fest
    • Initiatives
    • Events
    • Park Impact
    • Get Involved
    • Community Meeting
  • Search
Want To Survive The Upcoming Nuclear Apocalypse? Move To Kansas City

Want To Survive The Upcoming Nuclear Apocalypse? Move To Kansas City

November 3, 2017 (November 3, 2017) // Riot Fest



Are you worried about the upcoming nuclear apocalypse? Realtor.com made a list of the best cities you have a chance to survive a nuclear attack in and Kansas City is ranked number one.

Realtor.com used a number of criteria to calculate the best cities to survive the nuclear apocalypse including, home listings with a lake, pond, or well (for drinking water); listings with a bunker, fallout shelter, or underground shelter; listings with solar panels or hydropower (to fuel your home if the grid goes dark); percentage of health care workers; population density; state gun score (tracking the ability to stockpile weapons); presence of active military, federal government employees, and manufacturing workers; and more.

One criteria they didn’t use is the city with the best barbeque. Incidentally, Kansas City has the best barbeque in the country too, so if you survive the nuclear apocalypse, you will eat very well.

After all the numbers and data were crunched, they ranked Kansas City as the best place to survive the inevitable nuclear apocalypse, followed by New Haven, CT; Ann Arbor, MI; Hagerstown, MD; Springfield, MA; Manchester, NH; Duluth, MN; San Luis Obispo, CA; Crestview, FL; Lincoln, NE.

In reality though, we’re all fucked anyway, so as long as you are near a bar or liquor store, just grab a bottle of booze, sit on your porch and watch the world burn.

“Surviving a disaster will often have more to do with where you are than with any other factor,” says Richard Duarte, author of the book “Surviving Doomsday.” “Finding yourself in a highly populated urban center, competing with violent crowds for dwindling resources, will usually not end well. If the scarcity doesn’t get you, the resulting chaos certainly will.”

“On the other hand, being in a low-density rural location, with more abundant natural resources, and far fewer mouths to feed, will dramatically increase your chances of surviving the crisis,” he says.

Would you rather accept your fate and the nuclear annihilation of the world? The worst cities to survive the nuclear apocalypse are New York, Los Angeles, Dallas, Nashville, Atlanta, Washington, DC, and Philadelphia.

The Related Rabbit Hole

Denver Is More Likely Than Chicago To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse Kansas City vs. Tampa Bay: Which Has Better Bands? Kansas City vs. San Francisco: Which Has Better Bands?
About The Author
Riot Fest

Punk Rock (& more) Music Fest | I'm sorry we didn't book the exact bands you wanted, in the exact order you wanted, in the exact location you wanted, for free. September 18-20, 2026.

Posted in Chicago, NewsTagged end of the world, kansas city, nuclear apocalypse, realtor.com

Post navigation

  Previous PostNext Post 
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
Riot Fest Tickets
Upcoming Shows Playlist
Riot Fest Presents Shows
Mar. 12, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Bar Dust

Bar Dust

The Joyce Boys

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Bar Dust
Mar. 13, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Siamese

Siamese

Cabal

Mirrorcell

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Siamese
Mar. 14, 2026
Concord Music Hall
Drug Church x White Reaper

Drug Church x White Reaper

Hot Rod Circuit

Death Lens

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Drug Church x White Reaper
Mar. 15, 2026
Cobra Lounge
PRYVT

PRYVT

J.Y.N

Tickets(Opens in new window).
PRYVT
Mar. 19, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Merkules

Merkules

HEXXX

I AM CRICCHI

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Merkules
Mar. 21, 2026
Reggies
Ben Quad

Ben Quad

Riley!

Footballhead

Aren’t We Amphibians

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Ben Quad

MORE SHOWS

Greatest Hits


  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
  • Mail
  • WhatsApp

NEWSLETTER — FAQ — CONTACT — HISTORY — TEXT ME

InstagramTwitterYouTubeTikTokFacebook

Copyright © 2026 Riot Fest Corporation. Privacy Policy.

Search for:

Send me emails so I don’t have to go to your website anymore.