Oh. My. God. Quit your job right now and pack your bags for Ireland. The Just Cats Veterinary Clinic and Cattery in Dublin is hiring a full-time Professional Cat Cuddler.
Do you have gentle hands, capable of petting and stroking cats for long periods of time? Are you soft-spoken and capable of cat whispering to calm the nerves of some of nervous nuzzlers? Are you able to understand different types of purring? Are you a crazy cat person and breathes cats? Does cattitude come naturally to you? Do you even know what cattitude means? Do you count kittens before you go asleep? Do you feed the stray cats in your locality? Does petting warm, fuzzy cats make you feel warm and fuzzy?
If you answered “yes” to some or all of these questions, this is literally the greatest job ever for you.
Just Cats actually wants to pay somebody to cuddle their kittens. Like, it’s a real full-time job, and they’ll give an employee money to do it. We would literally pay them Riot Fest beer money to pet kittens all day. Your business card could say “Professional Kitten Cuddler.”
Apparently a “veterinary council of Ireland recognised qualification” is required for this job, so I guess we better start figuring out what that is and how you emigrate to Ireland, and why there’s an “s” in that word instead of a “z.”