Skip to content
Riot Fest
Tickets
Search
  • 2027 Early Bird Presale
  • 2026 Festival
    • 2026 Lost and Found
    • 2026 Photos
    • 2026 Lineup
    • 2026 Festival Partners
  • Merch
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Community
    • Beyond the Fest
    • Initiatives
    • Events
    • Park Impact
    • Get Involved
    • Community Meeting
  • Search
This Punk AF Turtle is Endangered

This Punk AF Turtle is Endangered

April 12, 2018 (December 7, 2022) // Riot Fest

A green mohawk, a virgin until the age of 25, a population in decline since the 1970s, breathes through its genitals. Yep, this endangered turtle is punk as fuck.

In another instance of humans ruining this planet, the Mary River turtle—able to breath through its cloaca and totally punk as fuck—is now on the endangered species list.

This punk rock turtle sports a green mohawk and spikes on its chin, and is found only on the Mary River in Queensland, Australia. Not only does this turtle look punk as fuck, but the gill-like organ in its cloaca allows it to stay underwater for three days; as a bonus, this multi-purpose organ is also used for mating and pooping.

What else makes the Mary River turtle so punk? It rarely mates before the age of 25 and its population has been in steep decline since the 1970s.

Why is this badass turtle with an algae mohawk and spikes on its chin who just wants to live its life and breath through its dick going extinct?

Because of you. That’s right, you. These kickass turtles were taken from the wild by the thousands because asshole humans wanted to keep them as pets. Now along with pollution and all the other things humans have done to this planet, the Mary River Turtle is in danger of becoming extinct.

I hope you’re happy.

 

[yarpp]
About The Author
Riot Fest

Punk Rock (& more) Music Fest | I'm sorry we didn't book the exact bands you wanted, in the exact order you wanted, in the exact location you wanted, for free. September 18-20, 2026.

Posted in RandomTagged australia, Mary River Turtle, Punk Turtle, turtle, turtles

Post navigation

  Previous PostNext Post 
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
Riot Fest Tickets
Upcoming Shows Playlist
Riot Fest Presents Shows
Sep. 30, 2026
Cobra Lounge
The Schizophonics

The Schizophonics

THE EVICTIONS

Tickets(Opens in new window).
The Schizophonics
Oct. 1, 2026
Metro Chicago
Militarie Gun

Militarie Gun

Softcult

Shady Nasty

Dazy

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Militarie Gun
Oct. 1, 2026
Cobra Lounge
MILLIONAIRE$

MILLIONAIRE$

Notions

Davvn

Tickets(Opens in new window).
MILLIONAIRE$
Oct. 1, 2026
Reggies
156/Silence

156/Silence

AVIANA

HEAVENSGATE

fromjoy

Tickets(Opens in new window).
156/Silence
Oct. 2, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Hot Flash Heat Wave

Hot Flash Heat Wave

Bleary Eyed

High.

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Hot Flash Heat Wave
Oct. 2, 2026
Turner Hall Ballroom
Bright Eyes

Bright Eyes

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Bright Eyes

MORE SHOWS

Greatest Hits


  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
  • Mail
  • WhatsApp

NEWSLETTER — FAQ — CONTACT — HISTORY — TEXT ME

InstagramTwitterYouTubeTikTokFacebook

Copyright © 2026 Riot Fest Corporation. Privacy Policy.

Search for:

Send me emails so I don’t have to go to your website anymore.