It’s been a difficult month for artists, freelancers, and creative-types. A lot of us work multiple jobs to support our passions, and in times like these, it’s extremely hard to stay afloat solely from our creative gigs. Luckily, the internet is an endless community of makers and designers that you can support, right from the safe, comfortable (six foot minimum) distance of your own home. Here’s some strangely cool products you can buy right now to help out these artists.
“ANTI-STINK BUG ZONE” PRINTFrom Andrew Stronge
At a time when everyone’s harshly divided by political opinions, it’s nice to unite via shared hatred of smelly arthropods. We can all agree that stink bugs fucking suck! Artist Andrew Stronge’s anti-stink bug print is the perfect gift for declaring your home a “no stink bug zone” this spring. This 8″ x 8″ print is useful for letting all your friends, roommates, and visiting Tinder dates entering your space know what you’re truly about.
RECYCLED BAND TEE SKIRTSFrom Dena Naylor
I absolutely love upcycled band merch. What’s better than creating an entirely new article of clothing out of your old band tees? If you’re anything like myself, and immensely regret buying all your favorite band shirts two sizes too small back in the day, then these upcycled skirts are the perfect stylish gift for a loved one that just won’t get rid of that old AFI shirt. Shop the entire collection of revived merch on Dena Naylor’s Depop page.
RIOT GRRRL BUTTONS & SWAGFrom The Bettys
Badass riot grrrl art collective The Bettys has a bunch of cool merch to ease the beloved disgruntled creative in your life—the “Certified Art Angel” ribbons, the “Don’t talk to me about art if you ain’t payin me” tote, and the oh-so classic “Male art makes me puke” pins are among their greatest hits. My favorite piece of Bettys swag is an ever-so sickening hot pink pin that states: “Be kind to me. I’m a creative with multiple unfinished projects.” Show some love to the artsy folks that can never manage to finish their artistic endeavors and purchase these painfully self aware pins here.
KINKY FLOGGER EARRINGSFrom Fruit Leather Shop
Wanna make a saucy statement in a very sophisticated way? Wanna let the folks at the office know that you enjoy kicking your significant other in the balls for fun after an exhausting 9-5? Look no further, because these mini kinky flogger/slapper earrings are the answer to all your undercover freakish needs. The flogger/slapper set of earrings from Baltimore-based Fruit Leather Shop are also available in the form of a keychain or hair barrette so that you and your partner (slave?) are really on the same page.
CUSTOM SELTZER FLAVOR DESIGNFrom Seltzer Flavors
We’re living in the golden age of low cal carbonated drinks, baby. Hard seltzer, soft seltzer, virtual seltzer… The Instagram page @Seltzerflavors specializes in creating weird seltzer flavors, making the perfect gift for a bubbly loved one. Some of the best flavors featured include Fritos, Daisy Sour Cream, and fresh parmesan. Sadly, you can’t experience the strange flavors in real life, but you can order a doodle of any custom seltzer flavor you like. Seltzer Flavors is also fond of music-flavored palettes, some of the most notable ones being Screaming Females flavored, Sheer Mag flavored, and Jack White in the Bathroom at the Grammy’s flavored seltzer. The possibilities are endless.
THE NIHILIST’S COLORING BOOKFrom JNDIV
It’s genius! Nihilism is totally back in fashion, and this book is the perfect treat for any sad boi, college-aged goth, or generally sad midlife crisis millenial in your life. Not only does this hella-minimalist coloring book feature a variety of beautifully printed full-bleed black pages, but also includes an extra special pitch black “JNDIV” branded crayon. I’m eagerly awaiting the potential release of a full set of pitch black crayons. (With the sharpener on the back of the carton, duh!)
“BEER REAR” ENAMEL PIN
From Andrew Heath Designs
“Beer Rear! Beer Rear! Beer Rear!” This quirky enamel lapel pin is a love letter to binge drinking, fart jokes, and probably anything 90’s Blink-182 would enjoy, in my opinion… Got a friend who likes to sport enamel pins and flair on their “vintage” denim jacket? (The jacket you definitely saw at The Gap online for like, $48. Why would they even lie about that?) Owning enamel pins is basically the adult equivalent of collecting Pogs, and what better way to flaunt your adult-ness than with a pin that says, “I drink shitty beer [and have a juicy ass]”?
BLOTCHY SELF-PORTRAITFrom Bad Crystal Art
It simply doesn’t get more DIY than paying someone on Instagram to create a crappy low-effort portrait of a loved one. There’s something very charming and innocent about the er… “juvenile” style of portraiture on the account @Badcrystalart. If you’re looking to pay money for something so unapologetically shitty and crafty, this is the gift for you. Do you remember that fad in shopping malls that involved lazy husbands paying department store employees to wrap their Christmas gifts poorly in order to pass it off as their own innocent wrapping work? This is kinda the same thing.
HAMBURGLAR BOOTY BANDIT TEEFrom Thunderpuss
Artist Amber Mccall (A.K.A “Thunderpuss”)creates the weirdest designs that feel very oddly familiar. One of my favorite picks from her online shop is this smug-ass rendition of the Hamburglar, revealing his surprising hiding spot for all those stolen sammies. Who knew that his secret to pulling off fast food heists was just stashing those greasy bad boys in his ass?
“BRIEF JERKY” UNDERWEARFrom MixedSpecies
Here it is, the big high-dollar gift to show your appreciation for the hot tenderoni in your life. The “brief jerky” hot pants have built in metal grommets and lace up in the front for that greasy cool 80’s leather daddy look. Not only are these shorts stylish and chocked full of protein, but they’re also probably the only garment of clothing that allows you to say “eat my shorts” while still looking sexy. (And slightly salty.)