Now that most of us are no longer whiny angst-ridden middle-schoolers crying our hearts out to My Chemical Romance lyrics on our CD players, it’s time for us to explore those albums that made our teenage years a little more bearable—through cocktails.
These drinks are grouped together by color schemes matching the imagery of each MCR era, as well as thematically by what’s most likely to exist within a given MCR universe. What’s on the menu at the Hotel Bella Muerte bar? Can only true MCR fans enjoy the burn of absinthe? This guide is the answer to all your important questions.
“HONEY, THIS COCKTAIL AIN’T STRONG ENOUGH…”
You absolutely cannot have an MCR cocktail guide without having an absinthe based drink. (It’s the rules.) With a name like “Death in the Afternoon,” you’d probably think it was a long lost hidden track from I Brought you My Bullets you Brought me your Love… Instead, it’s a vintage cocktail that takes a classy alcohol and mixes it with a spooky alcohol.
Admit it—your thirteen year old MCR-obsessed self definitely fantasized about drinking some spooky absinthe in a cemetery somewhere while writing whiny poetry. The old-time vibe of this cocktail perfectly suits the vintage romantic sound of MCR’s debut album.
Drink Type: A Death in the Afternoon
✶ 1.5 Oz. Absinthe
✶ 4oz. Champagne
✶ Lemon twist (optional)
THE BELLA MUERTE
Only the most hardcore of MCR fans could enjoy a cocktail with ingredients like horseradish and Tabasco in the mix. This cocktail captures the incarnadine imagery of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. Also, Do you think Gerard Way eats the celery garnish in his bloody mary? Give em’ blood, blood, gallons of the stuff…
Drink Type: A Bloody Mary
✶ 3 Stalks of Celery
✶ 6 Cups Tomato Juice
✶ ¼ Cup Lemon Juice
✶ 3 Tablespoons of Horseradish
✶ 2 Tablespoons of Worcestershire Sauce
✶ 1 Teaspoon of Celery Salt
✶ 1-2 Teaspoons of Tabasco
✶ A ‘Lil Ground Pepper
✶ Black salt or coarse pepper for rim
✶ 2oz. Of Blavod Vodka
✶ 2 celery stalks (for aesthetic)
THE BLACK PARADE
It’s only fitting that a popular drink from the 1940s would be the perfect drink to represent The Black Parade, a record full of WWII imagery and lyricism. It’s also probably the only cocktail served at that USO in the music video for The Ghost of You. (Is anyone else violently sobbing?)
Drink Type: An Old Fashioned (Duh!)
✶ 2 teaspoons simple syrup
✶ 1 teaspoon water
✶ 2 dashes bitters
✶ 1 cup ice cubes
✶ 1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger bourbon whiskey
✶ 1 slice of orange
THE PARTY POISON PUNCH
Who doesn’t love a good ol’ sidewalk slam? The futuristic killjoys from Danger Days were definitely dabbling in some crust punk tendencies while hiding out in some tank-girl style bunker amidst an emo-pop war zone. And who loves shitty alcohol and binge drinking more than the crusties?
Here’s an extra special recipe for a drink that’ll make you hit the pavement in a drunken stupor and say “So Long and Goodnight.” The best part about this recipe is that it requires no finesse—all you need to do is to pour one god awful drink into another god awful drink and gulp to your heart’s content! Look alive, sunshine…
Drink Type: Sidewalk Slam
✶ One 40 oz of Malt Liquor
✶ 1 Can of Lemon Four Loko