NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. FUCK. THIS. NIGHTMARE. FISH.
Three of these nightmare fish, also know as the red-bellied pacu, also known as the ‘testicle-eating fish’ — are you fucking kidding me? TESTICLE-EATING?!?! — have been caught in July in Michigan’s Lake St. Clair and Port Huron.
These fish, made by Satan himself, are native to South America and are related to piranhas. Pacus can fly through the air and into your bedroom when you are sleeping at night. There are unconfirmed reports of them eating ears of their victims probably. Their powerful jaws and broad teeth are also used to eat tree nuts.
According to Fox 2, “The pacu isn’t considered an invasive species in Michigan because they aren’t expected to survive the harsh winters.”
But that’s probably what the Michigan Department of National Resources wants you to believe. Make no mistake, these fish were created in a government lab and released in Michigan lakes to kill us all.
FUCK THIS FUCKING FISH. JUST LOOK AT IT.
