[bs_button size=”md” type=”danger” value=”Night 1 – December 14″ href=”https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1579745″] [bs_button size=”md” type=”danger” value=”Night 2 – December 15″ href=”http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?eventId=7776045&dispatch=loadSelectionData”] [bs_button size=”md” type=”danger” value=”Night 3 – December 16″ href=”http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?eventId=7776085&dispatch=loadSelectionData”]
[bs_button size=”lg” type=”danger” value=”2-Night Pass: Dec 15 & 16″ href=”http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?eventId=7776135&dispatch=loadSelectionData”]
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we’d like to welcome you to the announcement of the greatest Christmas-themed punk show on earth that takes place in Chicago in 2017. The mightiest of mighties, the holiest of holies, the sexiest of sexies, the lords of lords, the hosts of hosts, the best damn band in all the land—The Lawrence Arms—is coming to bestow holiday cheer on all y’all at the third annual War On X-mas. As is the dictum of tradition, the three evenings will be themed, and themed thusly…
ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF X-MAS, TLA GAVE TO ME: HOLIDAY CHEER
On Thursday, December 14th, the Cobra Lounge celebrates “HOLIDAY CHEER” (which is TLA code for the booze and drugs that help you forget you’re using Tinder on an air mattress at your grandma’s house), and we’ll be donating funds to Puerto Rico as well as collecting nonperishable food for a local food pantry at the show, so get in that giving spirit and steal some yams out of your mom’s pantry before you come get cheery with Neej, McCool, and Beex, as well as The Ridgelands and Fuck You, Idiot.
ON THE SECOND NIGHT OF X-MAS, TLA GAVE TO ME: MIDNIGHT MASS
The next night, Friday, December 15th, we’ll be moving it down the street to the Bottom Lounge for MIDNIGHT MASS! All are sure to be entranced by the subliminal and highly satanic messages hidden in the jams of TLA, Teenage Bottlerocket, and Blood People. If you’re feeling charitable, we’ll be taking those nonperishable food donations again at the door, but if actually helping people ain’t in your wheelhouse, ritual sacrifice—as always—is encouraged.
ON THE THIRD NIGHT OF X-MAS, TLA GAVE TO ME: SEXY X-MAS
2017’s War on X-mas wraps on Saturday, December 16th with SEXY X-MAS! So bring your assless Santa suits, buttplugs, and all necessary body parts back (oh, and your tastiest nonperishable foods!) down to Bottom Lounge as The Arms, Nothington, and the Sass Dragons GET. IT. ON. It’s all in the name of dragging Christmas, the Lord’s name, and every last modicum of collective decency through the frothy, foamy, ropey mud in style.
We love you all, and we’ll see you there. Get your tickets quick when they go on sale this Friday at 10:00am CDT, before those speedy little elves beat you to it again. Let’s finally put an end to Christmas once and for all (or get hungover trying).
With a love that will echo through the ages,
The Lawrence Arms’ Legal Team
ON SALE THIS FRIDAY at 10:ooAM CDT
Night 1: Holiday Cheer
December 14
Cobra Lounge
The Lawrence Arms
w/ The Ridgelands, Fuck You, Idiot
[bs_button size=”lg” type=”danger” value=”BUY TICKETS” href=”https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1579745″]
Night 2: Midnight Mass
December 15
Bottom Lounge
The Lawrence Arms
w/ Teenage Bottlerocket, Blood People
[bs_button size=”lg” type=”danger” value=”BUY TICKETS” href=”http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?eventId=7776045&dispatch=loadSelectionData”]
Night 3: Sexy X-Mas
December 16
Bottom Lounge
The Lawrence Arms
w/ Nothington, Sass Dragons
[bs_button size=”lg” type=”danger” value=”BUY TICKETS” href=”http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?eventId=7776085&dispatch=loadSelectionData”]
2-Night Pass
December 15 & 16
Bottom Lounge
[bs_button size=”lg” type=”danger” value=”BUY TICKETS” href=”http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?eventId=7776135&dispatch=loadSelectionData”]
[yarpp]
