By now you’ve probably checked out the stellar lineup for this year’s Riot Fest, coming to Chicago’s Douglas Park this September 14-16. As you look down the list—from top-line legends like Beck, Blink-182, and Elvis Costello all the way to the budding talent holding down the undercard—you might be feeling some decision overload. “How am I, an introvert who likes to spend time alone, lost in my imagination, going to choose how to spend my time at this year’s fest?” you might be wondering. Or maybe you’re an extroverted, thoughtful explorer who loves learning and sharing with others.
In order to help you choose, we’ve broken down the Riot Fest 2018 lineup according to Myers-Briggs personality types, which are definitely a real thing and not just a more technical-sounding version of establishing whether you’re a Carrie or a Samantha. After all, if it looks like science, it must be science!
Myers-Briggs Type Indicators:
E is for Extroversion
I is for Introversion
S is for Sensing
N is for Intuition
T is for Thinking
F is for Feeling
J is for Judging
P is for Perceiving
First, take the test for yourself.
Good afternoon, Doctor. You’re a serious, formal type, with a deep respect for traditions. You like it old school, and so do we. The Exploited come from a generation of bands that helped lay down the foundation that nearly every Riot Fest artist—and the festival itself—was built on. Or we’ve got the Killer himself, Jerry Lee Lewis, who was born in 1935, and thus there at the beginning of this whole rock ‘n’ roll thing.
You dream big. You love ambition. If we’re being honest (and we always are), people think you’re a bit weird. You’re probably going to want to show up for a set by the Voidz, Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas’s boldly visionary new group, as well as the death-rave sounds of HEALTH.
What’s the big deal about socializing? You’re happy working alone. So are Father John Misty and Cat Power’s Chan Marshall—two lone wolves with classic indie rock anthems that seem as though they were crafted in a small, dark, dank room all on their lonesome.
You’re a giver. You spend a lot of time thinking about how to be a better person in this world, and you want your music to reflect that. Bad Religion and Conflict have been making music with messages front and center since Ronald Reagan first vowed to Make America Great Again. Sounds like a match.
Rationality. Logic. Straightforward thinking. These aren’t traits you normally associate with crazy-ass music festivals… but as usual, Riot Fest has got you covered. Try checking out the Dropkick Murphys or Total Chaos, who both embody a perfect traditional punk rock aesthetic.
You’re a social butterfly, which means you’ll probably be rolling with a large group of friends, which means you’ll have a lot of people with different tastes to keep entertained (and, hopefully, a plan to meet up at the Fueled By Ramen tent after you inevitably get separated). You’ll definitely want to lead this crew by Bleachers’ set, which is sure to contain pop hooks catchy enough to snag anyone in their path.
You like order and patterns and everything in its right place. So of course you’re going to dig Interpol, whose songs are as neatly arranged as their outfits.
You’re a daydreamer, and you like to follow your thoughts—wherever they happen to take you. You need music that does the same thing. The dreamy jazz-inflected hip-hop of Digable Planets is an obvious choice, and you can find a similar vibe in the freewheeling rock sounds of local boys-done-great, Twin Peaks.
There’s a reason they call you the Entertainer, and it’s not because you insist on showing off your cherished, autographed, mint-condition first pressing of Billy Joel’s classic 1974 effort, Streetlight Serenade, whenever you have company over to the house. Simply put, you want to be the center of attention. If you’re going to let someone else have the spotlight, let it be someone who appreciates it, like our favorite rock ‘n’ rolling guru Andrew W.K., or gore gods GWAR—both Riot Fest perennials.
You don’t just think outside the box–you live outside the box. So does Gary Numan, who helped flip rock music on its head in 1979 by giving electric guitars a back seat to synthesizers on his solo debut, The Pleasure Principle. Try even harder with Hot Snakes, who’ve managed to squirm out of every genre box anyone’s ever tried to put them in.
You’re out there taking risks and making stuff happen. Same with Blondie, who’ll be performing their daring brand of punk-pop-ska-disco-whatever to the party. Considering Blondie’s first Chicago show ever was at the Riviera in 1977 with *gulp* Iggy Pop and David Bowie, you’re not the only one that’s good at making the seemingly impossible happen.
You’re a natural born leader, and you’re proud of it. If anyone’s got issues with it, that’s their problem. That’s basically Elvis Costello’s entire career in a nutshell. Go pay homage to one of music’s most outspoken consciences, one who was defying the establishment on live television around the same time Blondie was touring Bowie and Iggy.
As the Commander, you feel the need to always be in charge. So maybe you need to switch things up and chill out for a minute. And nobody chills quite like our boys in Cypress Hill, who’ve got a real knack for getting people to, er, unwind.
You’re warm and considerate, and your music should be too. Speedy Ortiz’s fuzzy indie pop has that same kind of vibe. Or check out nice guys extraordinaire the Wonder Years.
Watch out, world. You’ve got big, bold, maybe even crazy ideas. You’re a driver. You’re a winner. Things are going to change, we can feel it! And as the Visionary, you’ll find loads of inspiration when Beck hits the stage with a packed catalog of music that’s busted down every genre wall he’s ever come across.
You want to get out there and embrace the moment and make some memories. Therefore, the place for you is up front in the pit for Incubus and Dillinger Four.