Skip to content
Riot Fest
Tickets
Search
  • 2027 Early Bird Presale
  • 2026 Festival
    • 2026 Lost and Found
    • 2026 Photos
    • 2026 Lineup
    • 2026 Festival Partners
  • Merch
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Community
    • Beyond the Fest
    • Initiatives
    • Events
    • Park Impact
    • RESTORATION
    • Get Involved
    • Community Meeting
  • Search
Your Dog Is Way Cleaner Than Your Beard, Says Science

Your Dog Is Way Cleaner Than Your Beard, Says Science

April 18, 2019 (December 7, 2022) // Riot Fest

Once again proving that dogs are better than people, a recent study conducted by European Radiology found that beards have more germs than dog fur. Dogs, who lick their own assholes and roll around in the yard, have significantly fewer microbes than a human beard.

Cuddling up with your man on the couch, while your dog sits on the floor? Might want to think again. The study, conducted to determine whether it would be hygienic to evaluate dogs and humans in the same MRI scanner, concluded that bearded men have significantly more microbes and more human-pathogenic strains than dogs. As the MRI scanner used for both dogs and humans was routinely cleaned after animal scanning, there was substantially lower bacterial load compared with scanners used exclusively for humans.

Of the 18 men in the study, all 18 showed a high microbial count, while only 23 of the 30 dogs showed a high microbial count. In addition, human-pathogenic microorganisms, the ones that can make you sick, were more frequently found in human beards than in dog fur. 7 men out of the 18, in fact, had so many beard germs that they were at risk of getting sick.

In conclusion, you nasty dudes need to wash your dirty ass beard, or even your dog isn’t going to want to be near you.

[yarpp]
About The Author
Riot Fest

Punk Rock (& more) Music Fest | I'm sorry we didn't book the exact bands you wanted, in the exact order you wanted, in the exact location you wanted, for free. September 18-20, 2026.

Posted in RandomTagged beards, dogs, dogs are better than people, Eurpoean Radiology, Microbes

Post navigation

  Previous PostNext Post 
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
Riot Fest Tickets
Upcoming Shows Playlist
Riot Fest Presents Shows
Nov. 12, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Worst Party Ever & Equipment

Worst Party Ever & Equipment

Rosevile Sucks

Ogbert The Nerd

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Worst Party Ever & Equipment
Nov. 13, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Sunday Cruise

Sunday Cruise

Appleseed

Arcadia Grey

Friend

Cheerleader Roadkill

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Sunday Cruise
Nov. 14, 2026
Salt Shed
The Menzingers

The Menzingers

Hot Water Music

Weakened Friends

Tickets(Opens in new window).
The Menzingers
Nov. 14, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Ryan Jesse

Ryan Jesse

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Ryan Jesse
Nov. 15, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Spanish Love Songs

Spanish Love Songs

Kali Masi

tenmonthsummer

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Spanish Love Songs
Nov. 15, 2026
Cobra Lounge (AAA)
The “Nietzsche EP” Record Release Party

The “Nietzsche EP” Record Release Party

Canadian Rifle

Tightwire

Budget Cuts

Tickets(Opens in new window).
The “Nietzsche EP” Record Release Party

MORE SHOWS

Greatest Hits


  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
  • Mail
  • WhatsApp

NEWSLETTER — FAQ — CONTACT — HISTORY — TEXT ME

InstagramTwitterYouTubeTikTokFacebook

Copyright © 2026 Riot Fest Corporation. Privacy Policy.

Search for:

Send me emails so I don’t have to go to your website anymore.