Taco Bell Is America’s Favorite “Mexican Restaurant”
Corroborating what many Americans have believed for years, Yahoo! Finance has reported that according to a survey, Taco Bell is officially America’s favorite “Mexican restaurant.” The fast food chain that brought us a taco shell made out of fried chicken and burrito topped with spicy pop rocks is your favorite “Mexican restaurant.” It should be known…
Trigger Cuts: The Sound of Mental Illness
It’s such a weird thing about people that music has such power over our emotions, yet we’re just as likely to use it to make us feel bad as we do to make us feel good. Yeah, you can be sad and put on an uplifting pop song to cheer you up, but you’re probably…
Bill and Ted are Back to Make America Excellent Again
Strange things are once again afoot at the Circle K. Thirty years and one bogus journey have passed since we first went on Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and now it’s official: Bill and Ted will finally face the music. Backing up years of speculation, Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are officially returning as Ted Theodore Logan…
This Man has Eaten 30,000 Big Macs
Since May 17, 1972, Don Gorske has eaten at least one McDonald’s Big Mac every day, and this past week he consumed his 30,000th. For those of you taking a look at the hard numbers, that’s 90,000 pieces of bun as well. At the McDonald’s in Wisconsin where he ate his 30,000th Big Mac, franchise…
How Funny Women Help Me Cope with Mental Illness
I cannot fathom why anyone would want to listen to sad music when they’re depressed. I’m generally just not the type to want to exacerbate my pain. I don’t think I’ve actually listened to Bright Eyes since the onset of my inherited clinical depression as a teenager. The closest I ever get to self-harm is…
Need ANUSTART? Watch the first trailer for Season 5 of ‘Arrested Development’
Don’t click if you think spoilers are a huge mistake.
You can purchase the baseball that Kris Bryant fouled into Yadier Molina’s dick and balls
Ow! My Balls! On Saturday at Busch Stadium, St. Louis Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina caught a Kris Bryant foul tip of a 102-mph fastball right in the dick and balls. Directly in the family jewels. Right in the ye olde meat and potatoes. However (or wherever) you put it, Yadier Molina will be sidelined for…
Peppa Pig has been Banned in China for Being Subversive
Peppa Pig, a British children’s cartoon that’s become wildly popular worldwide, was recently banned by the Chinese government from appearing on Douyin (which is basically their version of Vine) for being addictive and subversive, while promoting gangster culture. 30,000 videos disappeared from the platform last week, bearing (boar-ing?) resemblance to the censorship that runs so rampant…
