RIOT FEST HOROSCOPES week of 03/31/2016
Aries March 21 – April 19
Your week will be like a Deep Dish Pizza. Heavy with a feeling like it will take forever to get here, but in the end very filling and good.
Taurus April 20 – May 20
Your week will be like a Cheese Pizza from a chain pizza place. Basic, but in the end still very good.
Gemini May 21 – June 20
Your week will be like the Hot Doug’s Atomic Pizza at Piece Brewery & Pizzeria. It will burn going in and coming out, but in the end it will be worth the pain and absolutely amazing.
Cancer June 21 – July 22
Your week will be like a pizza you ordered at 3am. Greasy, drunken, and hazy, but in the end, very good if you can remember it.
Leo July 23 – August 22
Your week will be like a mushroom pizza. You’ll meet a really fun-gi.
Virgo August 23 – September 22
Your week will be like St. Louis Style Pizza, terrible.
Libra September 23 – October 22
Your week will be like a $5 dollar pizza from Little Caesar’s. Everyone has had one, but no one admits to liking it. In the end it will still be good.
Scorpio October 23 – November 21
Your week will be like a Papa John’s Pizza. You only like it because it comes with a side of garlic butter dipping sauce. In the end, you’ll probably hate yourself.
Sagittarius November 22 – December 21
Your week will be like a New York Style Pizza. Thin and basic, and you’ll think you’re better than Chicago Style Pizza, but in the end, you shouldn’t compare yourself to others because in your own way, you’re very good.
Capricorn December 22 – January 19
Your week will be like Detroit Style Pizza. A lot like what you’ve had before, but totally square. It will still be awesome.
Aquarius January 20 – February 18
Your week will be like Jeff Spicoli’s pizza. If I’m here and you’re here, doesn’t that make it our time? Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with a little feast on our time. And in the end, a little pizza on our time will be very good.
Pisces February 19 – March 20
Your week will be like dessert pizza. It will be sweet and decadent and not really pizza, but still very good.
The Related Rabbit Hole
