RIOT FEST HOROSCOPES week of 05/05/2016
Taurus April 20 – May 20
Now first you must cure your temper, then you find a job in the paper. You need someone for a saviour.
Gemini May 21 – June 20
Zen fascists will control you. You will jog for the master race. And always wear the happy face.
Cancer June 21 – July 22
Well you tried it just for once found it all right for kicks, but now you found out that it’s a habit that sticks, and you’re an orgasm addict.
Leo July 23 – August 22
Life goes by so fast you only want to do what you think is right. Close your eyes and then it’s past; Story of your life.
Virgo August 23 – September 22
You want to be stereotyped. You want to be classified. You want to be masochistic. You want to be a statistic.
Libra September 23 – October 22
Cruise down the boulevard wasting mommy’s gas while you’re looking for some kicks on Friday night. Your only goal in life is to smoke a joint and decide how you’re gonna get laid tonight.
Scorpio October 23 – November 21
You’re a goddamn son of a bitch.
Sagittarius November 22 – December 21
First thing you learn is that you got to make it in this world alone.
Capricorn December 22 – January 19
So do what you must, do all you can, break all the fucking rules and go to Hell with Superman and die like a champion, yeah hey!
Aquarius January 20 – February 18
Please try not to be impatient for we all hate standing in line. When the farm is good and bought, you’ll be there without a thought. Eternity, my friend, is a long fucking time.
Pisces February 19 – March 20
Don’t be told what you want. Don’t be told what you need. There’s no future, no future, no future for you.
Aries March 21 – April 19
An omelet of disease awaits your noontime meal.