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RIOT FEST HOROSCOPES 05/05/2016

RIOT FEST HOROSCOPES 05/05/2016

May 5, 2016 (August 9, 2016) // Riot Fest

RIOT FEST HOROSCOPES week of 05/05/2016


Taurus April 20 – May 20

Now first you must cure your temper, then you find a job in the paper. You need someone for a saviour.


Gemini May 21 – June 20

Zen fascists will control you. You will jog for the master race. And always wear the happy face.


Cancer June 21 – July 22

Well you tried it just for once found it all right for kicks, but now you found out that it’s a habit that sticks, and you’re an orgasm addict.


Leo July 23 – August 22

Life goes by so fast you only want to do what you think is right. Close your eyes and then it’s past; Story of your life.


Virgo August 23 – September 22

You want to be stereotyped. You want to be classified. You want to be masochistic. You want to be a statistic.


Libra September 23 – October 22

Cruise down the boulevard wasting mommy’s gas while you’re looking for some kicks on Friday night. Your only goal in life is to smoke a joint and decide how you’re gonna get laid tonight.


Scorpio October 23 – November 21

You’re a goddamn son of a bitch.


Sagittarius November 22 – December 21

First thing you learn is that you got to make it in this world alone.


Capricorn December 22 – January 19

So do what you must, do all you can, break all the fucking rules and go to Hell with Superman and die like a champion, yeah hey!


Aquarius January 20 – February 18

Please try not to be impatient for we all hate standing in line. When the farm is good and bought, you’ll be there without a thought. Eternity, my friend, is a long fucking time.


Pisces February 19 – March 20

Don’t be told what you want. Don’t be told what you need. There’s no future, no future, no future for you.


Aries March 21 – April 19

An omelet of disease awaits your noontime meal.

The Related Rabbit Hole

RIOT FEST HOROSCOPES 04/07/2016 RIOT FEST HOROSCOPES 04/21/2016 RIOT FEST HOROSCOPES 04/28/2016
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Punk Rock (& more) Music Fest | I'm sorry we didn't book the exact bands you wanted, in the exact order you wanted, in the exact location you wanted, for free. Chicago. Sept. 15-17, 2023

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