Skip to content
Riot Fest
Tickets
Search
  • 2026 PRESALE TICKETS
  • 2026 Festival
    • Tickets
    • Lineup
    • Payment Plans
    • Photos
    • FAQ
    • Hotels
    • Lockers
  • Merch
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Community
    • Beyond the Fest
    • Initiatives
    • Events
    • Park Impact
    • Get Involved
    • Community Meeting
  • Search
If Dolphins Had Thumbs, They Would Probably Destroy Us All, Says Science

If Dolphins Had Thumbs, They Would Probably Destroy Us All, Says Science

October 19, 2017 (December 7, 2022) // Riot Fest

A new study, published in Nature Ecology & Evolution, has shown that dolphins are as intelligent as humans in almost every way, but their lack of hands and opposable thumbs means even if they wanted to destroy us, they don’t have the right appendages.

The study, a collaboration between scientists at The University of Manchester, The University of British Columbia, Canada, The London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) and Stanford University, United States, found overwhelming evidence that dolphins have sophisticated social behavioral traits, similar to those found in humans.

Unfortunately for the dolphins, “they won’t ever mimic our great metropolises and technologies because they didn’t evolve opposable thumbs,” said Dr Susanne Shultz, an evolutionary biologist in Manchester’s School of Earth and Environmental Sciences.

The University of Manchester has a list of traits shared by humans and dolphins:

  • complex alliance relationships – working together for mutual benefit
  • social transfer of hunting techniques – teaching how to hunt and using tools
  • cooperative hunting
  • complex vocalizations, including regional group dialects – ‘talking’ to each other
  • vocal mimicry and ‘signature whistles’ unique to individuals – using ‘name’ recognition
  • interspecific cooperation with humans and other species – working with different species
  • alloparenting – looking after youngsters that aren’t their own
  • social play

Fortunately, the one thing not on the list of traits that humans and dolphins have in common is opposable thumbs. Literally the only thing keeping us from being dolphin slaves is thumbs. Remember that the next time you swim in the ocean.

 

The Related Rabbit Hole

If You’re Over 40-Years Old You Should Only Be Working Three Days A Week, Says Science Your Dog Is Way Cleaner Than Your Beard, Says Science Cheese Ages Best When Listening to Hip-Hop, Says Science
About The Author
Riot Fest

Punk Rock (& more) Music Fest | I'm sorry we didn't book the exact bands you wanted, in the exact order you wanted, in the exact location you wanted, for free. September 18-20, 2026.

Posted in RandomTagged dolphin thumbs, dolphins, science

Post navigation

  Previous PostNext Post 
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
Riot Fest Tickets
Upcoming Shows Playlist
Riot Fest Presents Shows
Apr. 23, 2026
Metro Chicago
Thursday

Thursday

Chris Conley

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Thursday
Apr. 24, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Essenger

Essenger

Echos

Highdiver

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Essenger
Apr. 25, 2026
Reggies
Slomosa

Slomosa

The Mainliners

SOLD OUT
Slomosa
Apr. 25, 2026
Cobra Lounge
House of Heavy

House of Heavy

Tickets(Opens in new window).
House of Heavy
Apr. 26, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Bike Routes

Bike Routes

Innerlove

The Stigs

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Bike Routes
Apr. 26, 2026
X-Ray Arcade
Holy Fuck

Holy Fuck

Gus Engelhorn

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Holy Fuck

MORE SHOWS

Greatest Hits


  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
  • Mail
  • WhatsApp

NEWSLETTER — FAQ — CONTACT — HISTORY — TEXT ME

InstagramTwitterYouTubeTikTokFacebook

Copyright © 2026 Riot Fest Corporation. Privacy Policy.

Search for:

Send me emails so I don’t have to go to your website anymore.