Our boss, Riot Mike, may not trust his employees enough to share any of the artists who’ll be revealed in our upcoming second wave announcement, but he trusts you enough to share his All-American Burger Recipe. We’ve tried it here in the office on many occasions, and not only are they delicious, but they are truly a unique American original. So crank up our Fourth of July playlist, and start preparing the item that will truly blow all of your guests’ red-white-and-blue crap out of the swimming pool.
- 2 All-Beef Patties
- 1 oz. Mayonnaise
- 1 oz. Thousand Island Dressing
- 2 oz. Iceberg Lettuce, Shredded
- 2 Slices Cheese, American
- 1 Pickle, Sliced
- 1 White Onion, Diced
- 1 Sesame Seed Bun
- In a bowl-shaped container, whisk the mayonnaise and Thousand Island dressing until it’s a special, familiar color; set aside.
- Slice the burger buns to leave a top, a bottom, and a middle piece; Toast all three pieces until golden brown.
- Place all-beef patties on the grill, and cook to desired temperature. Medium-rare recommended.
- Spread the mayonnaise-Thousand Island dressing mixture evenly across the the bottom bun; then top topped with diced onion, lettuce, one of the all-beef patties, the cheese slice, and a couple discs of sliced pickle. Place the middle bun on top of the patty.
- Fifth verse, same as the fourth! Place middle bun on top of all that, and then repeat step 4.
- Serve with a smile.
- Clean up.
- Reunite the Misfits *
You’re done! It should look something like this:
Now go on, get out of here, and show your friends how much of a true patriot you really are!
* Step 8 is optional