Skip to content
Riot Fest
Tickets
Search
  • 2026 EARLY BIRD TICKETS
  • 2026 Festival
    • Tickets
    • Lineup
    • Payment Plans
    • Photos
    • FAQ
    • Hotels
    • Lockers
  • Merch
  • Upcoming Shows
  • Community
    • Beyond the Fest
    • Events
    • Community Tickets
    • Local Hiring
    • Park Cleanups
    • Vendor Workshop
    • Community Update
  • Search
Your Dog Is Way Cleaner Than Your Beard, Says Science

Your Dog Is Way Cleaner Than Your Beard, Says Science

April 18, 2019 (December 7, 2022) // Riot Fest

Once again proving that dogs are better than people, a recent study conducted by European Radiology found that beards have more germs than dog fur. Dogs, who lick their own assholes and roll around in the yard, have significantly fewer microbes than a human beard.

Cuddling up with your man on the couch, while your dog sits on the floor? Might want to think again. The study, conducted to determine whether it would be hygienic to evaluate dogs and humans in the same MRI scanner, concluded that bearded men have significantly more microbes and more human-pathogenic strains than dogs. As the MRI scanner used for both dogs and humans was routinely cleaned after animal scanning, there was substantially lower bacterial load compared with scanners used exclusively for humans.

Of the 18 men in the study, all 18 showed a high microbial count, while only 23 of the 30 dogs showed a high microbial count. In addition, human-pathogenic microorganisms, the ones that can make you sick, were more frequently found in human beards than in dog fur. 7 men out of the 18, in fact, had so many beard germs that they were at risk of getting sick.

In conclusion, you nasty dudes need to wash your dirty ass beard, or even your dog isn’t going to want to be near you.

The Related Rabbit Hole

If Dolphins Had Thumbs, They Would Probably Destroy Us All, Says Science You Absolutely Can Judge Someone Based on Their Music Taste, Says Science If You’re Over 40-Years Old You Should Only Be Working Three Days A Week, Says Science
About The Author
Riot Fest

Punk Rock (& more) Music Fest | I'm sorry we didn't book the exact bands you wanted, in the exact order you wanted, in the exact location you wanted, for free. September 18-20, 2026.

Posted in RandomTagged beards, dogs, dogs are better than people, Eurpoean Radiology, Microbes

Post navigation

  Previous PostNext Post 
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
Riot Fest Tickets
Upcoming Shows Playlist
Riot Fest Presents Shows
Jan. 31, 2026
Concord Music Hall
Lord of The Lost + The Birthday Massacre

Lord of The Lost + The Birthday Massacre

Wednesday 13

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Lord of The Lost + The Birthday Massacre
Feb. 10, 2026
X-Ray Arcade
Dinosaur Pile-Up

Dinosaur Pile-Up

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Dinosaur Pile-Up
Feb. 10, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Playboy Manbaby

Playboy Manbaby

Johnny Manchild and The Poor Bastards

Background Character

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Playboy Manbaby
Feb. 11, 2026
Cobra Lounge
Dinosaur Pile-Up

Dinosaur Pile-Up

Kamenar

Honeyknife

Tickets(Opens in new window).
Dinosaur Pile-Up
Feb. 20, 2026
X-Ray Arcade
The Effigies

The Effigies

Poison Hand

The Mighty Deerlick

Tickets(Opens in new window).
The Effigies
Feb. 21, 2026
Cobra Lounge
The Effigies

The Effigies

The Bollweevils

The Evictions

Tickets(Opens in new window).
The Effigies

MORE SHOWS

Greatest Hits


  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • TikTok
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • Spotify
  • Mail

NEWSLETTER — FAQ — CONTACT — HISTORY

InstagramTwitterYouTubeTikTokFacebook

Copyright © 2025 Riot Fest Corporation. Privacy Policy.

Search for:

Send me emails so I don’t have to go to your website anymore.