Almost any keyword search for pizza on the RiotFest.org website will show how you just how much the Riot Fest staff loves pizza and pizza-centric content. But one thing no one can agree on is: which frozen pizza is the best?
Since there’s absolutely nothing to do in Chicago during the winter, we took time out from doing whatever it is that we do here at Riot Fest corporate to rank some of the most popular frozen pizzas that you can find in your local frozen food aisle.
Each pizza was rated for cheese, crust, and sauce, as well as an overall score. (Ranked 1- 5)
Content Warning: this article will make you want to eat pizza.
7. DiGiorno’s 4-Cheese
Touted as easily the best-frozen pizza by at least one staff member, DiGiorno’s Four-Cheese Rising Crust pizza ranked last of the seven pizzas we ate. (After all, we only have one oven to cook all these pizzas in) It should be noted that despite being the most expensive pizza clocking in at $9 retail, this pizza was ranked the lowest.
6. Red Baron Pepperoni + Sausage
Red Baron was on several “best frozen pizzas” lists we consulted when selecting our pool of pizzas, but nobody picked it as their favorite out of the gate, which should tell you everything you need to know about this $5.49 pizza.
5. Newman’s Own Thin + Crispy Cheese
This pizza ranked in the middle of the pack for both the price and overall ratings, but one thing that separates this pizza from the six others is that Newman’s Own donates 100% of profits to kid’s charities. That means you can not only enjoy this delicious pizza, but you can do it without feeling guilty for supporting a massive pizza conglomerate.
4. Caulipower Uncured Pepperoni
Caulipower is relatively new to the frozen pizza space, especially considering some of us have been eating Jack’s or Home Run Inn pizza for decades. Still, for a non-traditional crust made of vegetables, this pizza held up just fine overall. In a blind taste test, no one would know that the crust was made of cauliflower.
3. Screamin’ Sicilian Cheese
While the Screamin’ Sicilian cheese pizza didn’t win our overall best score, it got the highest cheese ratings. So if you’re the kind of person who’s big on cheesy, this might be the frozen pizza for you.
2. Jack’s Cheese
The true dark horse of this unscientific pizza rankings was Jack’s Cheese, which not only had one of the cheapest pizzas we purchased at $5.19, but it also ranked second overall against some very saucy competition. Don’t sleep on Jack’s Cheese, which almost always has a 4/$10 deal at your local grocery store.
1. Home Run Inn Cheese
Home Run Inn’s pizza is a staple of most frozen pizza sections at your local grocer, especially if you’re located in the midwest. This delicious frozen pizza dominated our rankings with the best overall score and top scores in the crust and sauce and tied for best cheese with the Screamin’ Sicilian.
There you have it, folks. Next time, we will try more pizzas and perform the taste tests blindfolded, with a polygraph–just as soon as we get the budget approved for the polygraph machine and the frozen pizza.