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Frozen Pizzas Ranked By Resident Pizza Experts: The Riot Fest Staff

Frozen Pizzas Ranked By Resident Pizza Experts: The Riot Fest Staff

March 7, 2023 (March 29, 2023) // Riot Fest

Almost any keyword search for pizza on the RiotFest.org website will show how you just how much the Riot Fest staff loves pizza and pizza-centric content. But one thing no one can agree on is: which frozen pizza is the best?

Since there’s absolutely nothing to do in Chicago during the winter, we took time out from doing whatever it is that we do here at Riot Fest corporate to rank some of the most popular frozen pizzas that you can find in your local frozen food aisle.

Each pizza was rated for cheese, crust, and sauce, as well as an overall score. (Ranked 1- 5)

Content Warning: this article will make you want to eat pizza.


Digiorno's Slice
DiGiorno whole pizza

7. DiGiorno’s 4-Cheese

Touted as easily the best-frozen pizza by at least one staff member, DiGiorno’s Four-Cheese Rising Crust pizza ranked last of the seven pizzas we ate. (After all, we only have one oven to cook all these pizzas in) It should be noted that despite being the most expensive pizza clocking in at $9 retail, this pizza was ranked the lowest.

CrustSauceCheeseOverall
2.573.433.293.04

Rating

5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas

I gave DiGiorno’s all 2s because I hate you. [Tim]

Monique Doron
Brand Manager, Riot Fest
Red Baron Slice of Frozen Pizza
Red Baron Frozen Pizza

6. Red Baron Pepperoni + Sausage

Red Baron was on several “best frozen pizzas” lists we consulted when selecting our pool of pizzas, but nobody picked it as their favorite out of the gate, which should tell you everything you need to know about this $5.49 pizza.

CrustSauceCheeseOverall
2.863.4333.07

Rating

5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
Slice of Newman's Own Pizza
Newman's Own Frozen Pizza

5. Newman’s Own Thin + Crispy Cheese

This pizza ranked in the middle of the pack for both the price and overall ratings, but one thing that separates this pizza from the six others is that Newman’s Own donates 100% of profits to kid’s charities. That means you can not only enjoy this delicious pizza, but you can do it without feeling guilty for supporting a massive pizza conglomerate.

CrustSauceCheeseOverall
3.4333.863.46

Rating

5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
Caulipower Slice of Frozen Pizza
Caulipower Frozen Pizza

4. Caulipower Uncured Pepperoni

Caulipower is relatively new to the frozen pizza space, especially considering some of us have been eating Jack’s or Home Run Inn pizza for decades. Still, for a non-traditional crust made of vegetables, this pizza held up just fine overall. In a blind taste test, no one would know that the crust was made of cauliflower.

CrustSauceCheeseOverall
3.433.713.573.57

Rating

5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
Screamin' Sicilian Slice of Frozen Pizza
Screamin' Sicilian Frozen Pizza

3. Screamin’ Sicilian Cheese

While the Screamin’ Sicilian cheese pizza didn’t win our overall best score, it got the highest cheese ratings. So if you’re the kind of person who’s big on cheesy, this might be the frozen pizza for you.

CrustSauceCheeseOverall
3.1444.573.82

Rating

5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
Jack's Frozen Pizza Slice
Jack's Frozen Pizza

2. Jack’s Cheese

The true dark horse of this unscientific pizza rankings was Jack’s Cheese, which not only had one of the cheapest pizzas we purchased at $5.19, but it also ranked second overall against some very saucy competition. Don’t sleep on Jack’s Cheese, which almost always has a 4/$10 deal at your local grocery store.

CrustSauceCheeseOverall
3.863.574.143.89

Rating

5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas

I can honestly say that Home Run Inn pizza changed my life for the better since having it for the first time on New Year’s day 2007.

Dan Wade
Art Director, Riot Fest
Home Run Inn Frozen Pizza Slice
Home Run Inn Frozen Pizza

1. Home Run Inn Cheese

Home Run Inn’s pizza is a staple of most frozen pizza sections at your local grocer, especially if you’re located in the midwest. This delicious frozen pizza dominated our rankings with the best overall score and top scores in the crust and sauce and tied for best cheese with the Screamin’ Sicilian.

CrustSauceCheeseOverall
4.574.434.574.57

Rating

5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas
5/5 Pizzas

There you have it, folks. Next time, we will try more pizzas and perform the taste tests blindfolded, with a polygraph–just as soon as we get the budget approved for the polygraph machine and the frozen pizza.

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About The Author
Riot Fest

Punk Rock (& more) Music Fest | I'm sorry we didn't book the exact bands you wanted, in the exact order you wanted, in the exact location you wanted, for free. Chicago. Sept. 15-17, 2023

Posted in Food + Drink, Staff PicksTagged featured, frozen pizza, pepperoni pizza, pizza

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