Have a question about Riot Fest, or your homework, or dating, or if you’re handsome or not? We gave Riot Fest Mom her own column to answer all your questions, whatever they may be. Ask her anything. But keep it classy, Riot Fest Mom is a saint and she won’t put up with your foul mouth. Email Riot Fest Mom at [email protected] or use #AskRiotFestMom on the twitters and we’ll print them off so she can read and answer them.
Hey Mom,
I need guidance on navigating a coworker cougar/puma dating scenario. I don’t mind at all she’s older, it’s cool she’s way more intelligent then what I’ve been used to. She’s 5 years older then me, I’m 26, she’s 31. We sit near each other at work, and take smoke breaks together pretty regularly. (We used to make out in elevators which was honestly amazing fun at work.) She’s just out of a 5 year relationship (living with her ex for 1 year). She moved out but now her brother lives with her, which takes up her time helping him learn programming. We’re both programmers.
We started off in frequent after work vicious wild fun get-to-gethers when she was living w her ex. Her ex is cool, not the problem. Problem is I like her more then just booty call. She likes me in a similar way I think, and we hang out without getting it on, fairly often.
But when she’s busy all I do is think about her. I try to keep myself busy (redoing guitar lessons, billiards league, work meet-ups, concerts) but it’s tough. I find myself getting jealous or always curious what she’s up to. I also believe she’s a higher priority in my life then I am in hers, which may cause some of these problems.
So from time to time I ponder if I need to move on and find someone else, but I like this too much in the meantime. What should I do if I want to keep going out with her? Or should I just “man up” and break it off and figure it out on my own alone for a bit until I find someone better for me? (I don’t want to cheat on her.)
Cheers,
Hopeless Cougar Lover
Dear Hopeless,
First of all sweetie, 31 is not cougar. She just has more life experience than you do. You may not want to hear this, but it sounds like you are her rebound lover. That’s ok. Embrace it. Have fun. You’re young. She probably likes that about you.
Take a deep breathe and take this opportunity to learn all that you can from her, including how to give a woman space. Don’t be jealous. That’s not a good look and won’t score you any points with her (or any other woman worth dating). She’s probably still working through her break up, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy what’s happening now.
Unless it has been explicitly discussed, it’s likely that she doesn’t consider herself in an exclusive relationship with you, so I doubt that seeing other people would be considered “cheating.” One simple, yet often overlooked, way to find out is to TALK ABOUT IT. Communication is the key to any successful relationship, romantic or not. So if you care about her like you say you do, you should be able to talk with her.
My best advice? Be honest and get back to basics. Ask her on a real date, not just a casual hang/booty call. If she says yes, take her to dinner, tell her how you feel. Keep it simple. If she says no…don’t sweat it. Like you said, you’ll find someone better suited for you. As they say, there are more fish in the sea and, in this case, more pumas in the concrete jungle.
– Riot Fest Mom
Dear Riot Fest Mom,
Do you have any indication of when the Riot Fest Denver lineup will be announced? Or do you have any hints as to the line up? – Paul W.
Patience is a virtue, honey. I’m sure it will be released soon and will be really super. As the great Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “I have learned long ago to possess my soul in patience and accept the inevitable.”
– Riot Fest Mom
Could you hook me up with a 3 day pass ??? – Gary S.
I could, but you’d appreciate it a lot more if you earned it yourself. If you need help with your resume just let me know. Reach for the stars Gary, you can do it!
– Riot Fest Mom
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