We’re going to start this by simply stating the truth: the Riot Fest office consumes a disgusting amount of coffee. Every day—at nearly every hour of the day—there is a fresh pot of sludge that will, without a doubt, vanish within 30 minutes with little to no thought as to what it tastes like.
That being said… we got a bag of Coheed & Cambria’s new coffee (specifically, The Knowledge variety) in the mail last week, and it was no doubt a good day in the Riot Fest kitchen. The band has crafted a delightfully devilish medium/dark roast coffee, produced in partnership with LA’s J Gursey Coffee Roasters of Los Angeles—made through a proprietary roasting process that (as the bag puts it) “levitates the beans on a hot bed of air, keeping the beans moving and not scorching on hot surfaces.” The bag doesn’t lie; it’s great coffee!

We’ve put together our thoughts below, and hereby would like to declare that this coffee does not suck. (And since it didn’t give any of us stomach pains, we will still be attending the Coheed & Cambria show we’re hosting this August).
“The Knowledge is a really tasty coffee—it’s a lighter roast but still wakes me up enough to prevent me from turning into The Crowing.”
–Dan Wade (Art Director)
“The amount of bitter, room-temperature black coffee I drink here is honestly unforgivable, and without a doubt has caused my stomach to hate me. I knew Coheed’s coffee would be an upgrade, regardless of the taste—but I was surprised to find that, hey, it’s actually pretty good.
–Bailey Davis (Content Director)
“Coffee is a utilitarian thing for me, whatever it is, if it’s there I’ll drink it. The Knowledge makes the coffee experience enjoyable with a nice smooth taste.”
–Mo Doron (Brand Manager + Designer)
“I never knew what heavy metal tasted like until I brewed up some of The Knowledge light roast early one morning at the office. The flavor itself is quite complex, much like the Riot Fest coffee machine that I still cannot operate without supervision from Jen, who has shown me how it works at least three times now.”
–Tim Toomey (Director of Marketing)
You can pick up a bag of Coheed coffee on their website, available in three different blends—and don’t miss Coheed and Cambria live in Bridgeview, Illinois this fall (August 6, SeatGeek Stadium).